Place your bets. Watch the egos combust.
From cult leaders to crypto crybabies, Narcissist Derby™ is the only game where everyone loses and the audience wins. This week’s top contenders? The orange one and the rocket man. May the worst man implode first.
Tag Archives: nutrition
Poe ‘Vices
Sick of fragile fascists and orange outrage? SPLAT-A-TACO™ is the deeply satisfying presidential effigy experience you didn’t know you needed. Complete with biodegradable tomato splats, legal loophole tissue, and a taco that’s structurally unsound (just like the man himself). Finally, a product that lets you vent your rage without getting banned from Etsy.
Poe ‘Vices
This week in Poe’vices, democracy is a concept, Beyoncé is a celestial being, and Poe is here to remind us that snacks are sacred and immunity is a vibe.
Accompanied by the release of the Diplomatic Immunity™ Chicken Dip Plate Set, Poe offers spicy wisdom, poultry-based policy, and unsolicited legal commentary.
The verdict?
Shut up. Sit down. Eat chickens.
You’re not Beyoncé.
Poe ‘Vices
They chose layout over love. Fonts over family. You? They left you on read.
Introducing the Zine Abandonments Recovery Kits™ — for cats discarded in the name of literary pursuit.
Includes a tear-absorbent blankie, guilt-activated chicken button, and the dignity you were denied.
Because this isn’t a phase. It’s emotional print neglect.
Poe ‘Vices
“He named himself after big cats? Leo Kings of the universes. Wooooah.”
This week, Poe responds to a panicked Traditionalist who fears the Pope has gone soft—and possibly woke. Enter: the velvet-draped feline theologian, riding a golden chicken straight through the Vatican. The Clucksmobile is real. And so is the chaos.
Poe ‘Vices
Rocket dads, data bros, and misfired masculinity — this week, Poe responds to a reader haunted by a billionaire father who’d rather launch a car into space than love his trans child. With trademark sass, sorrow, and chicken-based resistance, Poe reminds us: your soul can’t be trademarked.
Poe ‘Vices
Poe-plies Volume VI: Bots, Biscuits, and Righteous Fury
Maudlin in Montana writes in to ask what to do when a bot steals your work. Poe replies—naturally—with screeching vengeance, digital warfare, and several impassioned mentions of chicken. There’s also some very real wisdom in here (under the feathery insults and claw threats). Writers: this one’s for you.
Poe ‘Vices
This week, Poe answers a human worried their brother is gay. The verdict? Mind your own biscuits. A chaotic feline advice column full of judgement, chicken cravings, and unexpected wisdom. #PoeVices #queercatcolumn #LGBTQsupport #darkhumour #felineoracle
Poe ‘Vices
Caught in a suspicious group chat? A man from “Atlantic” lurking in your Signal threads? This week, Poe offers unsolicited emotional support, biting wisdom, and an escape plan involving bins, PowerPoints, and poultry. Featuring security clearances that don’t exist, tabs you should absolutely not trust, and advice only a partially feral diva cat could give.
