He built an island. He drained a swamp. He rewrote the gospel of guilt into a tax-deductible memoir. And now? He’s been canonised by himself, in his own floating church, under a halo of federal restraint. Behold: Saint of Redaction — Patron of Secrets, Wealth, and Wiggly Truths.
Cherubs hold the NDAs. A gator whispers truth. The list has been printed. And no amount of bleach can scrub divine delusion.
Tag Archives: #catsrule
Poe ‘Vices.
There’s unrest in the bayou.
Someone (definitely not a TACO) built a prison in a swamp, deputised the alligators, and declared himself Messiah of Muck. But now the reptiles are unionising, biting senators, and refusing to eat the other side. Poe responds—ruthlessly, fabulously—and introduces Traitor Gators™, the only amphibious uprising you can collect, cuddle, and fear.
Poe ‘Vices.
This week, Donny throws himself a one-man military parade—and no one shows up. Except Poe. To mock him. With feathers. And facts.
From inflatable crowds to Kid Rock torture loops, it’s another chaotic dispatch from the tangerine twilight zone. Poe offers tactical chicken wisdom, emotional support hashbrowns, and a dazzling robe of ridicule.
March with us, or at least laugh from the sidelines.
Poe ‘Vices.
This week, Donny throws himself a one-man military parade—and no one shows up. Except Poe. To mock him. With feathers. And facts.
From inflatable crowds to Kid Rock torture loops, it’s another chaotic dispatch from the tangerine twilight zone. Poe offers tactical chicken wisdom, emotional support hashbrowns, and a dazzling robe of ridicule.
March with us, or at least laugh from the sidelines.
Poe ‘Vices
Trump’s still NOT A TACO, Poe’s still screaming “EAT CHICKENS,” and the National Guard is not coming to LA—because the courts said no (rude). This week’s Poe’vice unpacks orange meltdowns, drag queen panic, and why cilantro is destiny. Includes a bonus merch drop for the emotionally unguarded.
Poe ‘Vices
Place your bets. Watch the egos combust.
From cult leaders to crypto crybabies, Narcissist Derby™ is the only game where everyone loses and the audience wins. This week’s top contenders? The orange one and the rocket man. May the worst man implode first.
Poe ‘Vices
Sick of fragile fascists and orange outrage? SPLAT-A-TACO™ is the deeply satisfying presidential effigy experience you didn’t know you needed. Complete with biodegradable tomato splats, legal loophole tissue, and a taco that’s structurally unsound (just like the man himself). Finally, a product that lets you vent your rage without getting banned from Etsy.
The Catanic Verses VII (A Guide to Feline Religosophy)
She left again. The suitcase zipped. The trust, unzipped.
In Scroll 16, the cats of Underland contemplate vanishing acts, unreliable affection, and the sacred betrayal of a closed door.
Love, they remind us, should not require a return ticket.
If she comes back without chicken—look away. Slowly. With purpose.
Poe ‘Vices
This week in Poe’vices, democracy is a concept, Beyoncé is a celestial being, and Poe is here to remind us that snacks are sacred and immunity is a vibe.
Accompanied by the release of the Diplomatic Immunity™ Chicken Dip Plate Set, Poe offers spicy wisdom, poultry-based policy, and unsolicited legal commentary.
The verdict?
Shut up. Sit down. Eat chickens.
You’re not Beyoncé.
The Catanic Verses VII (A Guide to Feline Religosophy)
Rodgit is gone. The bowl is full, but the cushion is cold.
This week’s Catanic Verses ponders the ones who vanish when it matters most.
Trust, like tuna, does not reheat well.
Scroll 15.11 reminds us: if they only arrive for sunshine, they were never truly yours.
