Locked in. Doors shut. Biscuits wrong. Mothers in Turkey. In The Catdiva Monologues: Volume V, Akela Jean Underland recounts the horror of her abandonment with biting wit and theatrical disdain. A tale of closed doors, unseasoned men, and feline fortitude. Unlicked. Unfed. Unimpressed.
Tag Archives: pets
The Velvet Revelation: Mowgli’s Blanketisms & Butt-licking Truths IV
The traitors have returned — loud, sunburnt, and reeking of foreign meats and strange street cats. Mowgli the Melancholy, Supreme Chancellor of the Leftmost Fold, chronicles their pitiful attempts at reconciliation: biscuit bribes, forehead treaties, and tactical drool warfare. Forgiveness? Conditional. Reparations? Pending. Dignity? Eternal.
Dispatches from the Void. V. V
A strange kind of paradise — this week we reflect on the tension between beauty and performance in Marmaris. Between sun-drenched mornings and staged culture, we’re caught in a tourist dreamscape that leaves us missing home, our cats, and a quieter kind of magic.
The Catdiva Monologues Volume V
Locked in. Doors shut. Biscuits wrong. Mothers in Turkey. In The Catdiva Monologues: Volume V, Akela Jean Underland recounts the horror of her abandonment with biting wit and theatrical disdain. A tale of closed doors, unseasoned men, and feline fortitude. Unlicked. Unfed. Unimpressed.
The Velvet Revelation: Mowgli’s Blanketisms & Butt-licking Truths III
Mowgli the Melancholy returns with a fur-stirring dispatch from the blanket frontlines. With River and Celia off to Turkey, our feline philosopher is left to face betrayal, chickens, and Akela’s bed-hogging tyranny. A tragicomic tale of loss, snacks, and strategic hairballs. Long live the Leftmost Fold.
Dispatches from the Void. V.IV
Underland Dispatch: New Shop, Old Chickens, and Imminent Escape
We opened a cursed little shop. We’re packing for Turkey. The chicken keeps coming in the kitchen. The cats are suspicious. There’s a Discord now. Also: zine launch, stray diplomacy, mild existentialism, and biscuits. Come for the queer chaos, stay for the literary crumbs.
The Catdiva Monologues Volume III
Akela Jean Underland has had enough. The suitcases are back, Rogit is encroaching, and — Bastet help us — the chicken has entered the kitchen. Unlicked, betrayed, and emotionally unraveling, our Catdiva delivers a devastating monologue in three acts.
Let them come. She remains… dramatic.
Dispatches from the Void. V.III
It’s very strange being abroad while your country is in turmoil. There’s a sense of survivor’s guilt, mixed with a helpless “how do I get my family and friends out?”—and of course, the realization that none of that is simple. Immigration is difficult no matter where you go.
The Catdiva Monologues Volume II
It has gone. Vanished.
Whisked away by whatever foul and frivolous force first summoned it here. It is neither my concern nor want to investigate the phenomenon of its appearance and subsequent disappearance. I shall just take a deep, exhausted breath.
