Dear TACO BELL END,

Or should I be say Gaytor traitor…

Yes I seen what you be do to the gays. And it bad, Taco boy. Very bads.

But that nother times.

Firstly I think I be do congratulations. You invent alligators. It’s be very brave of you (TACO) to be take credit for creatures that’s been ’round since late Cretaceous period. I knows coz I (ME POE) was theres first time. God be madeth thems toothy. You madeth them fascists. We alls contributsis whats we can. Do alls the good you can. Hillaries she be say thats but she stoles it from someones elses notebooks. I don’t remembers who. Some God squadder or somethings.

Anywaysis now. To your complaintsis.

Can you sue the reptiles for defamation?

Yes. You can be do sue to anyone.But theys be do bites back. You can be do sues oxygen if it offends you enough. Doesn’t mean you’ll win. But ‘magine headlines: “Florida TACO Sues Gator for Vibesis-Based Betrayal.” You’d finally be do relatable. Good jobs you.

Is it a coup if they’re cold-blooded?

Sweethearts, most coups are. And you the biggest coups of the alls. Big fats orange coups. That be you. Owns it.

Should you run again as King of the Swamp?

Ummm You are the swamp. You marinated in it. Not like chickens witht he chillliss. Like gator urine and squelchys ameoba poops, You the reason the frogs scream at dusk. No more testosterones supplements for yous. I (me Poe) thinks yousis had to manys of thems alreadys. Alsos, you is be criminals too. So maybe karmas be biting you bigs.

Is it treason if an alligator refuses to eat a Democrat?

Stupid question. No? Obviouslies it only be traitor gators if it don’t be do to wear the regulations MAGA hat. If it not prepared to look likes a twat then it don’t be deserving the gator title. Simples. ‘Sides. Why you want it eat ’emocrats? With all the artificial sweeteners they be do ingesteds, they probablys carcinogenicy anyway.

But let’s get to the heart of this. You’re afraid. Not of the alligators. Not of the UN. But of irrelevance. Boo hoo you.

You built concrete zoos for your own reflection.
You crowned yourself Gator Jesus ’cause mirrors make you lonely.
And now the gators are getting ideas.

That’s the things about monsters:
You raise thems in your images,
You feeds them on fears,
You teaches thems how to snaps snaps—

AND THEN…

SNAPS.
They bites your bloated taco in the assholes.
Right in the democracys.

So here is be my ‘vice:
Take off the crowns.
Wade into the swamp.
Let them devour you whole.
Maybe they’ll leave your wig as a warning.

Laters traitors,
Poe
(Gator Union Rep / Swamp Rat / Fully Evolved Threat to National Delusion)

P.S. Eat chickens.

📧 Send me more confusions: Chickens@mepoe.catmail.coms

ALso PPS:

🍗 Buy Poes (mez) a Chickens. Pleez

And I has new products special for you. You can pay in chickens share. But I acceptssis sausagees toos. No? OK.