Dear Donny Del Taco,

Ha ha. You us unguarded waffle-crust, no? You shoulds be do careful. Someones might munches on yous head. Not mez (Poe) thoughs. Don’t worry. I likes chickens not the waffles but if yous crust haves chickens flavours i mights thinks abouts it.

OKays I (me Poe) be seriousis wifs you nows.

Oh? OH? The COURTS said NO? Dramatic paws to forehead. See? I swoon. I meows. I faints on fainting cushion (Akela tooks it, I hissed).

C’mon TACO boy. Thinks about it. Uses that tangerines brains fo yous.

You wanted to sends the army…
To LA…
Because why?

vibesis?

Roller blades?

And now yous be do sobbing in your robe like Sad Wizard of Cheetos. You says you born in POWER. Marinated in POWER. Breastfed by Lady Liberty? NO. Seems me (Poe) thats you mistookings statues for vending machine again.

You just be do mads coz LA got good tacos? BECAUSE IT TOO DELICIOUSis?? That not crime. That’s be seasonings – silantros destiny. You don’t needs the National Guard. You need tumerics or thems little chilli flakes thing. Or bester. Guac. Yums.

You says this and I (ME Poe) quotes.

“The children are drag queens.”

See you did done do some progresses. That be glamour. That is be sequins on Tuesdays ands on Thursdays. You just be mad coz no one cast you in RuPaul’s Drag Race: Alcatraz Edition. Newsis flash. The Appretices was beoverrateds. First. You can’t be do firing someones you don’t be hiring. Plus yous wigs was wonkys. I (me Poe) don’t understands whys someones be do voting for presidents with wonky tupees. Makes no senses.

OK heres I (Me Poe) gives three point Poe-tocol:

1. No more LAW AND ORDER.
   Everybody ‘cepts yours cult of TACOs knows yous be criminals and onlys runings for powers coz you want keep oranges ass outs of jails. Logics.
2. Put down the Bible.
   You holding it upside down and calling it “the tax menu.” Embarrassings. Muchs.
3. LA is not be needing tanks. LA needs naps. And oat milk. And better eggs
   You just creating ‘stractions so no ones be seeing your next millionaires rich quick schemings. But you forgets. I (Me Poe) was be there. I knows what youz be doings. It not goods taco. Nots goods at all.

Also, Obama still thrivings coz he be doing reading books. Trys it. Not just menus. Real books. Wait. Can you reads?

And, and Kamala’s laugh? Sinces lasts time I completes my studies. And I tells you this. Free ‘vices. It be frequency so precise it can shatter hypocrisy at 20,000 feet. She laughed once and Rudy’s hair dye ran to Cancun. Mowgli showeds me.

And you, my orange mop ghost, you says:

“Still NOT A TACO.”

But you ARE a taco. Mummy tolds me. A soggy one. Dropped in a parking lot. Stepped on by justice. Eaten by seagull named Ruth. Twatty, Asinine Curmudgeony Oligarch-abe. That be yous. The ends.

Anyway. Is tired now. You stress me.
Go lick wounds. Quietly please My ears be doing hurting. ‘Kela screams too muchs.

And remembers:

EAT CHICKENS.

Always.

Sincerely,
Poe.
(‘anther. filosofer. Presidents of the Underland Courts. In robe too, but sexy and cutes.)

📧 Send me more confusions: Chickens@mepoe.catmail.coms

ALso PPS:

🍗 Buy Poes (mez) a Chickens. Pleez

And I has new products special for you. You can pay in chickens share. But I acceptssis sausagees toos. No? OK.