Poe-plies:

Dear RE: Everybody’s a #loser. Except me. I’m a secret genius

Oh you is, sweetsheart.
’Luded but sweet like giblets. I likes thems.

First I tells you what bes is happenings, then I gives you ‘vices.
You is speariencing Category 5 Brain Spirals. It happen me too sometimes.
BUT I IZ CAT SO IT ALL BE OK.
But yous… well. Yous got a whole country in your chicken shed. Big problems fors you. But you shoulds have be thinkings about thats one befores you gots jealous of the Obamas. HA! Who #losers now? How much is the eggs? How many peoples you drops off in the wrong places? Huh? AND YOUS DON’T EVENS HAVES A DOG.

Yes I knows who yous is. You ‘finitely not geniusis or secret. Thiugh I thinks lots. Many peoples with yous was secret. Or quiets maybe.

First, Mr Cwiminal. Bruce Springsteen? Is actuallys five raccoons in a denim jacket. I don’t likes the denims—not squigy ‘nough—but he good with the voices. So, fives be is better than one, right? You can’t sue raccoons. I checkedid it. Chicken Lips and Lizard Hips. Toos bads for yous.

Beyoncé? She cannot be bought. (Only maybe… with chickens.) She is a celestial event. Like ‘clipse. Or solar sneeze. Very rare.

Oprah? Please. She be big hologram powered by billionaire tears. Not even edible.

Bono?
No.
He owes me chickens. And got them drunk. Drunk Chicken / America. I don’t be do talk ’bout Bono.

BUT HERE BE THE THINGS:
It might be ‘illegalis’ but when the ‘resident of the Un-United States is a gigantic ’riminal, there be no lawsis now.
Only vibes. And waffles.

So:
Sit down. Shut the fucks up.
Maybe worry about your own emails.
Maybe sits in dark room ’til the caps lock wears off.
And you not be orange no mores?
Would be good for everyone.

And eat chickens.
Not the drunk ones.
You don’t need any more yellowy substances insides of yous.

In facts yous illegals. You shoulds be in the prisons. Bites me.

I, mez (Poe), right.
Right?

Until democracies is returnedsis or the treats arrive (‘ever comsis first)
Poe

📧 Send me more confusions: Chickens@mepoe.catmail.coms

ALso PPS:

🍗 Buy Poes (mez) a Chickens. Pleez

And I has new products special for you. You can pay in chickens share. But I acceptssis sausagees toos.. No?