Welcome to The Catanic Verses—repentance optional, treats required.
#CatanicVerses #BookOfMeow #CatsRule #SundaySermon
“Blessed are they who hold their tongue, for the ones who meoweth too much shall be swatted mid-sentence.”
🐾
Pawlms 1: 9.9, Book of Meow
“When the mouth runneth, the ears closeth. The wise cat napeth instead”
Purrverb 19:77
Paws for thought from today’s felineship:
Poe:
The BI-AM’ULATORS bedoing talkings. So much. So loud.
I blinked. Once. Twice. They stills be babblings.
So I dids meowed over thems.
Louder. More tragics. More op-oeratics. Like diva. HA! Poe-ccini. You is welcomes.
But not they says mez (Poe) “’pressive.”
NO. I just boreds of them talkings.
Akela:
There are creatures who speak because they must.
And then there are those who speak because they cannot bear their own silence.
I have met both.
Neither brought me tuna.
Silence my fellow sufferers. Speaks. Sings.
If only they would hear it.
I shall sit on top of the fridge until the noise dissipates.
From there, I watch. I judge. I do not engage.
Mowgli:
I tried to listen.
Truly, I did. For it is my want.
But they were discussing the finer points of coriander.
And I lost consciousness mid-meow. It was a travesty. I fell headlong into my bowl of Dreamies.
Now, I simply hum when spoken to.
It’s safer that way.
“Silence is golden. Chicken is divine. Refrain from overmeowing unless delivering prophecy or demanding snacks.” 🐾
Akela
So sayeth the Victorian love child, Akela.)
Revelations 13.37
The Catanic Verses: Scroll 19.92
Of Velvet Rebellion and Feathered Transportation
“The wheels of betrayal turneth not, lest they be chicken-shaped and rolling toward revolution.”
For it is declared:
They who speak too often shall be ignored,
and those who blink thrice may yet inherit the cushion.
Though they mew loud of righteousness,
their bowl remaineth suspiciously empty,
and their breath carryeth no scent of sincerity.
Remember:
The loudest meow hideth the smallest treat.
The wise cat observeth in stillness.
Therefore:
Sit high. Speak little.
Judge silently. Flop dramatically.
And if thy patience runneth dry, deploy the Clucksmobile.
Whispered beneath the fridge. Scribbled in the margins of old opera programmes. Witnessed by Akela. 🐾
Until next time,
Go forth and purr loudly.
May the Great Almeowty be forever in your favour and may the grace of treats be forever in your claws.
PAWMEN 🍗
Mowgli, Akela Jean Underland and Poe
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