Poe ‘Vices

Poe-plies:

Dear RE Traditional and Trembling in Tallahassee,

Hmmmm.

This be bigs news.
I sees the smokes and I thinks ha! Pigeons be do BBQ.
Disappointing.
Just pope. Meh.

Wait tho’.

Wait an ickle minutes.

He name hiself after big cats?
Kings of the universes.
Wooooah.

Sounds to me like he got ‘iorities all rights.
All laid is out in a biscuits line readys for eatings.
Big ones goes first.
Now that be order. No?

And you ates the dried up biscueits during the ‘clave?
What that be penance for??
He ‘merican.
Yous should’ve made use like a sloppy Joes or somethings.
Or hamsburger.

I likes hamburgers. Not like chickens, but theys ok.
You knows—for changes.
And changes be goods. Sometimes.
Not all the times though. BUT SOME TIMES.

Oh waits tho.
‘A’go has pizzas no?
Should be do pizza.
Cheese be good. Not chickens but it’s ok.
Mamma says mez (Poe) can’t haves the chickens all of the times.
I don’t be do agree but it is whats it iz.
So. Cheese. Pizza. Yes.

Peaces not so bad.
It be goods for nappings.
When there be do noice—no nappings.
And no nappings be bad.
Very bad.
You ever had no napping times? Ew.

Though I ‘grees little bits with the eyebrowsis.
Pfft. I knews a cat like that once.
Very polites.

But I watched hims.
He ate a whole worm. No even blinking.
Come thinks of it—Mowgli got eyebrowsis like that too.
And he a twat.

So maybe uses right.
Or maybe Mowgli be Popes in humans legs?
Ha! I asks him laters.

But my Trad—here be the thing.

The ‘rusades.
They be bads.
I was theres the first time.

Should’ve seens it.
Bloods and heads alls overs the places.
They not about the biscuits, my friendsis.
They means.

You thinks yous can handles thats??
HA!
You’s having a turkey.
You’s having meltydown ‘bout a wokey popey. 😹😹😹😹😹

Because mez (Poe Underlands), I’z say dis:

Maybes bit of no schisms be goods.
Right?

Likes lions in charges of the churches now?
And mez thinks that sounds like a goods fing.
No?

So here be what it isis you should bes doings:

Buy robe. Velvet ones.
Coz velvets be softs and also when you puts claws into its you makes like colours.
Yep. Coloursis.

It good for passing times when you waitings for the mammas to cooks the dinners.

Then—
Paint chicken gold.
And ride it into Mass.
THE CLUCKSMOBILE.

No??

And afters you can haves holy oat milks.
Woke milk be goods for digestions and stuffs.
Cows better milks than oats but it’s ok.
Breathes.
It just milks.

And den—den—only den do you EAT the CHICKENS.

As be tradition.
As be sacred.
As be divine.

Yums.

May eyeliner of Saint Lucy protects your visions ands your chickens,
Poe
Gothsis of the Clothsis
Uncanoniseded but Undefeateds 🐾

📧 Send me more confusions: Chickens@mepoe.catmail.coms

ALso PPS:

🍗 Buy Poes (mez) a Chickens. Pleez

And I has new products…Ranges do be expandings coz some popesiz be wokesis. Capitalismsis. No?