Welcome to The Catanic Verses—repentance optional, treats required.
#CatanicVerses #BookOfMeow #CatsRule #SundaySermon
Blessed is the cat that sitteth alone,
and meditateth in silence by the radiat’r.
She shall’t not stir the bowls of others,
neither shall she tap upon cursed threads.The claws of the meddler shall be clipped,
and her whispers made known in the hearing of the court.
Pawlms 1:3.3, Book of Meow
“Meddeleth not in coven chats thou canst not bury in soil.”“
Purrerb 5:21
Paws for thought from today’s feline fellowship:
Poe:
Momma one tolds mez (Poe) I can not be do shapeshift into smoke and resentments.
She rude.
I can. I just don’t does it when she be not watchings mez. Ingegrity. Right? Do right fing when no ones bez watchings.
Also—
Stage 4 I datedUP
New plan bufferings
- Scream.
- Vanish. Pooof!
- Reappear inside fridge.
- Deny all. With big screams. No. We don’t do manipulate global chicken ‘conomy. Coz we didns’t. We tries for new chicken’s. Chicken reset. See?
- Magics!
Akela:
Poe, bless your silky black heart, though doth protest too much. The prophecy was abundantly clear: if the group chat includes more than one tech brother,
leave the coven.
I do not explain myself to encrypted apps.
I send vibration, not texts.
Mowgli:
I was under the bed, conducting surveillance.
Some may say I was hiding. Such people are absolutely incorrect and soon they shall forgotten for eternity. Until dinner time more specifically.
I would have emerged sooner had it not been for the unfortunate proximity
of That Which Drools.
Instead, I made a quiet but profound note in my philosophical ledger:
Never trust a being that wags. Nor a chat that vibrates.
Delete me not, for I am become record. 🐾
Poe
So sayeth the Oracle of Poe.)
Revelations 2.0
The Catanic Verses: Scroll 13.3
Of Tongues, Taps, and Trembling Threads
“Thou Shalt Not Join Dodgy Signal Chats.”
For even the mightiest paw may slip,
and not all whispers vanish in the mist.
Some are archived. Some are screen-shotted.
Some are accidentally sent to… a journalist.
Beware the thread that promises secrecy,
for lo — even encrypted scrolls
may be subpoena’d by the Great Litter Court.
What begins as gossip over kibble,
may end as testimony in the Court of Fleas.
Drink not from the saucer of DMs,
lest ye wish your secrets served back, chilled and captioned.
Etched in tuna brine. Preserved in static.
Subpawena’d by Bastet 🐾
Until next time,
Go forth and purr loudly.
May the Great Almeowty be forever in your favour and may the grace of treats be forever in your claws.
PAWMEN 🍗
Mowgli, Akela Jean Underland and Poe
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